I was texting my friend Kevin awhile ago and he gave me a pep talk on staying positive. I replied that mostly, I am staying positive. I just wish the future wasn’t so muddy. He replied,
The future is muddy regardless…just sayin’!
I paused to think about what he said, then had to agree he was right. The future is always muddy. Regardless of well-laid plans, current health conditions, or whatever else is happening right now, the future is muddy and uncertain.
In the book, “The Immortalists”, one of the characters states that her mother gave her the gift of uncertainty. When I read this, I had to set the book down and ponder. Uncertainty is a gift? How is that even possible? I had to unpack this idea.
My boss has been talking about selling her business, so I’m in the process of determining my next career move. I do not have a clear sense of direction and am fearful that I will not find something in time. I’ve been doing what I call excavation work–internal digging to determine what my insides are telling me to do–but I don’t feel like I’m uncovering any answers. Everything is muddy and uncertain. I’ve grown impatient and have been pushing myself to figure things out NOW.
One day when this feeling was quite intense, I was sitting at a red light and a big truck with the words Pluto Excavation Service pulled up alongside of me. The word “excavation” caught my attention and I became curious. When the light changed, the truck pulled ahead and on the back in big orange and blue letters were the words
I laughed out loud. Okay, I get it. My impatience and desperation are causing me to push for answers. These words were a message to relax; a lesson to trust the process and allow things to unfold.