The Awkwardness of Being Me


Photo by Johnny McClung on Unsplash

I’m an awkward person.

I often respond with a “You, too’’ when the waiter says, “Enjoy your meal.” When we celebrate someone’s birthday at work, I’m the one who coordinates their birthday lunch. The birthday person will thank me and I’ll say, “Thanks for having a birthday.”

Really. I say stuff like that.

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Wearing the Crown of Self-Worth

Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash

Alas, there’s the sound. The queen requests her tea.”

I watched as my friend Ray poured hot water into a tall white mug over a bag of Earl Grey tea. He smiled at me then padded softly into the bedroom where his wife Bonnie lay rousing from sleep. It’s a ritual they do every morning — Ray being an early riser and Bonnie needing a nudge to greet the day. She gently calls and he answers by bringing her a cup of hot tea.

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My Soul Knew My Word For The Year

Diana | Image by Prof. George Sturm

As I mentioned in a previous post, a few years ago I started a habit of choosing a word for the year. The word then becomes a motto or a theme I’d like to practice.

The year I went through my divorce, my word was release. It felt like the right word after so many years of struggling to make my marriage work. I needed to release all of the things that no longer worked for me.

Last year my word was explore. With COVID still on the rampage, I figured at least the great outdoors would be open. ‘Get out and explore’ became my motto.

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Getting Still

I have a problem with getting still.

When I’m faced with a situation and not sure what to do or believe, a friend told me to get still and listen to my gut–that it knows.

But I have a problem with getting still. 

When I am still, the silence can be agony for me. When I wait for an answer to an important question, a text reply from someone, or a response from an on-line blog on a piece I submitted, and sit in silence, it can be agonizing. When I am still, my mind makes up all kinds of stories to fill the silent space. 

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Three Lessons From a Dog

One sunny, Sunday morning, I walked down to a local bakery for a muffin. It was a beautiful day and I decided to sit at a table outside of the store and enjoy my treat right there.

A middle aged man walked up with a long haired dachshund. The dog was adorable–with curly, reddish brown fur and one blue eye and one green eye. He tied the dog outside and went in for his own bakery treat. 

As the dog stood there waiting, he was alert and perky, looking up at everyone as they passed by. I watched as people pointed at the dog and smiled. Some stopped to bend down and pat his head. The dog wagged his tail in thanks, and generously smiled back in his own dog-like way. Everyone who interacted with him walked away smiling.

When the man returned, I said, “Cute dog”. 

He replied, “Yes, and he knows it”.

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