“’Cause you can’t change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?”
~ Cheryl Crow
For the last 2 years or so, I’ve been on 47 first dates.
Yep, you read that right. 47.
When I started on this journey, I created a list of all of my dates’ names and a takeaway from the experience–a golden nugget if you will. It helps me remember each one and treats the process as a learning and growing experience.
Continue reading “Are You Strong Enough to be my Man?”
I’m having a difficult time with the word “just”. Or to be more precise, all the words that often follow the word “just”.
When I lament that I’m weary of waiting for Mr. Right to show up, someone will say,
“Just be patient!”
“Just put yourself out there!”
“Just get out and do what you love!”
I’ve “just” done all those things and he still hasn’t magically appeared. Well, maybe I haven’t been patient enough, but I have put myself out there, wherever out there is. I’m doing what I love.
Continue reading “Just Stop”
For me, some of the most effective learning takes place by contrast. I see the right path when I’m on the wrong one. I see what would be best for me when I’m in a situation that’s not the best.
And this week, I saw what I want while waiting for what I don’t want.
Continue reading “How a No-Show Showed Me What I Want”
There’s a younger man in my office who recently became engaged. He met his now-fiancé in high school and had been dating her for the past 12+ years. When he told me he had proposed, I congratulated him then asked if he’d like a little piece of advice.
“Of course,” he replied.
I said, “Never stop dating each other.”
Continue reading “My Advice to a Newly Engaged Man? Never Stop Dating Each Other”
After spending over a year on the dating app Bumble, I’ve decided to call it quits for awhile. I’ve deleted the app from my phone and am now using the time I spent swiping, chatting and meeting people to focus on other things.
As I look back and review my time spent on the app, songs always have a way of bubbling up in my head to characterize the experience. In addition to my post, 7 Songs for 7 Months on Bumble, here are 7 more songs that capture the final few months:
Continue reading “7 More Songs for the Last Few Months on Bumble”
Spending the last seven months on the dating app Bumble has been an educational experience.
I’ve been taking a dive into the wild and a bit wacky world of online dating. When I first started this foray, I quickly discovered there were a lot of things I didn’t know. I found myself googling a number of words I’d never heard before. What’s a sapiophile? A pluviophile? And then there’s all the acronyms and terms. LTR. FWB. Ghosting. And what does that symbol mean?!
There was so much to learn.
Continue reading “7 Songs for 7 Months on Bumble”
Now that I am no longer married, I’ve decided to take a peek into the wide world of dating. Although I know I am capable of living alone, I’d much rather be in a relationship–to have that special someone by my side to share tacos, sunsets and all the other joys of life.
I want to be purposeful about the process—to be mindful and take it seriously–but also stay lighthearted, have fun, and try to see the humor in all of it. I’ve joined a few meet-up groups and have created profiles on a few dating apps. As I have been swiping left and right, I was amused to find the voice of Toni Tennille singing “You Better Shop Around” running through my head:
“Try to get yourself a bargain, girl Don't be sold on the very first one Good-looking guys come a dime a dozen Try to find the one who's gonna give you true loving Before you take someone and say I do, now Make sure he's in love with you, now Make sure that his love is true, now I hate to see you feeling sad and blue, now My momma told me, you better shop around”Continue reading “You Better Shop Around: Seven Strategies for Seeking that Special Someone”
a curious firefly 