A recent story on Medium.com brought back a memory from a college art class lecture. Or maybe it was a photography class. It’s been so long I can’t remember. Anyway, I remember learning the concept of Naked Versus Nude in art.
A nude image depicts a person flawlessly. Smooth skin. Flowing hair. No scars or imperfections. Glossy.
In contrast, a naked image reveals who a person really is. Lumps and bumps. Sweat. Grit. Raw and unfiltered. The person may gaze back at us with a this is me expression.
Chris’s humorous story leans heavily on the reality of living with a real person, but in my mind, that’s where the rubber hits the road in a relationship. That’s living with someone’s naked side.
Because here’s the thing. A person’s glossy side may be initially attractive but that’s not what makes someone endearing.
The shiny nude version doesn’t reveal who someone is. That’s the cleaned-up ready-for-church side. To truly know who someone is we must see their naked side. The side with messy hair. The side that exposes their humanness.
The comfort of a relationship happens on the naked side — the side where we can be ourselves. We can relax. Be vulnerable. Authentic.
Deep love and acceptance live on the naked side. To get there, we gotta dive below the surface. Peel back layers. Reveal our naked side.
I often respond with a “You, too’’ when the waiter says, “Enjoy your meal.” When we celebrate someone’s birthday at work, I’m the one who coordinates their birthday lunch. The birthday person will thank me and I’ll say, “Thanks for having a birthday.”
within me exists a universe of delightful sparkling stars and densely heavy planets of swiftly swimming salmon thoughts and lumbering whale-sized emotions of chartreuse green ideas springing to life and ones yet to form under the depths of winter’s ice
“Alas, there’s the sound. The queen requests her tea.”
I watched as my friend Ray poured hot water into a tall white mug over a bag of Earl Grey tea. He smiled at me then padded softly into the bedroom where his wife Bonnie lay rousing from sleep. It’s a ritual they do every morning — Ray being an early riser and Bonnie needing a nudge to greet the day. She gently calls and he answers by bringing her a cup of hot tea.
As I mentioned in a previous post, a few years ago I started a habit of choosing a word for the year. The word then becomes a motto or a theme I’d like to practice.
The year I went through my divorce, my word was release. It felt like the right word after so many years of struggling to make my marriage work. I needed to release all of the things that no longer worked for me.
Last year my word was explore. With COVID still on the rampage, I figured at least the great outdoors would be open. ‘Get out and explore’ became my motto.
At the end of October, a little gift arrived in my email. Tammy at The Mudroom blog sent me this message :
Hi Karin! I’ve started a new series called Out of the Attic. I find archived posts that match our theme and repost them on Friday. You wrote about courage a few years ago so your post fits and has been posted today! Tammy
One of the most popular questions that’s asked in the getting-to-know-you phase of dating is, “If you could have a superpower, which one would you choose?”
When I’m asked that question, I feel a strong pull to immediately respond, “Flying, of course! How cool would that be?!”
But when I ponder the question further, I think my answer would have be time travel. I’m not sure if it’s actually considered a superpower, but it’d be cool nonetheless. It’d be cool to move forward in time and see what life will be like. But it’d also be nice to travel back in time and take a peek at how I used to be and to maybe have a chance to right a few wrongs.