In one of my recent posts, I wrote about not letting fear take the wheel and steer and instead to let the Divine take the wheel. As I ponder this further, I don’t think I got it quite right.
I’ve been thinking back to my Getting Still post about the fear based stories our minds tell us and to filter our thoughts with Love to get to the truth. When I think about it now, this filtering process is really about listening to our intuition. And I’m beginning to believe that our intuition is an inner knowing that comes from our connection to the Divine. It’s this inner knowing we must trust to take the wheel and steer because the Divine doesn’t do the driving.
There are so many things I love about the holiday season. One of my favorites is the way the season sparkles with lights. Since darkness comes so much earlier this time of year, it’s a joy to see so many homes and trees illuminated in a bright celebration. They bring to mind this verse of “Silent Night”:
“Son of God, love’s pure light Radiant beams from Thy holy face With the dawn of redeeming grace”
These lights are like joy, hope, grace and peace all wrapped up in a little twinkling bulb. Kinda like the babe himself, twinkling in a manger.
So what’s your favorite part of the holiday season?
I don’t know about you, but Thanksgiving felt like a non-event this year. I usually spend it with a house full of family, all of whom are amazing cooks. There’s always a buzz of activity along with great food and spirited conversation. This year, it was just me and my two sons. And although we had a nice conversation around the table and made a few of our favorite dishes, it just wasn’t the same. Thanksgiving didn’t feel like Thanksgiving.
Because of this, I’m feeling the need to make sure Christmas feels like Christmas. And I think lots of other people are feeling the same way I do.
Lately, I’ve been trying to practice being in the present moment. I’m learning to accept and be present with both the comfortable and uncomfortable things in my life. This week, I discovered the importance of not only practicing this with myself, but also in my relationships with other people as well.
Here’s what happened.
My dear sister called and was very upset about something happening in her life. I wanted to soothe her and make the pain go away. My mind was racing trying to think of what to say and how to help and I spouted out a few suggestions.
And then she said,“I don’t need you to fix this. I just need you to listen.”
Last summer, I made an expensive mistake. I was itching to get something done and instead of pausing to make sure I was doing the right thing, I reacted to my itch.
My mistake cost me a lot of money. Since then, I’ve hired someone to fix my error. I’ve put my trust in him. He knows what he’s doing and he’s waiting patiently for the right moment to do the right thing. When all this happened, my brother told me I was in Ready-Fire-Aim mode. I fired away without taking the time to aim.
I realize now I’ve lived parts of my life this way. I don’t take the time to aim before I fire and I end up in situations where I look around and think “Damn! How do I get myself out of this one?”
At the beginning of 2020, I wrote a post about no longer fighting reality and instead accepting the way things are. I’ve been thinking how ironic it is that I posted this just before COVID hit. Like my post, When the Rubber Hits the Road, once again, I’ve had to practice what I preach.
COVID is a hard reality to accept. It has made a number of things difficult, one of which for me is dating. With positive cases on the rise again, I suspect places will shut down as they did in the spring and I dread facing the winter alone. I’ve made some strong efforts to find someone, but as hard as I try, it hasn’t happened. My mind then goes into fear mode that maybe I will never find someone. The uncertainty of it all makes me push harder, putting myself on more dating apps and reaching out to more and more guys on them. I feel myself fighting to find someone.
And then as I was on my way to work the other day, I heard these lyrics from the song “Drive” by Incubus:
“Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear And I can’t help but ask myself how much I’ll let the fear Take the wheel and steer”
Yesterday morning, as I read through profiles on a dating app, there was someone who wrote in his bio “music and laughter are the sticks that stir my soul.” I absolutely love this imagery—the sticks that stir my soul—and would add the sticks are also what lights a fire within us. I paused to ponder what my sticks would be and settled on dancing, biking through the woods, and watching the daily play of the sunlight.