At the end of October, a little gift arrived in my email. Tammy at The Mudroom blog sent me this message :
Hi Karin! I’ve started a new series called Out of the Attic. I find archived posts that match our theme and repost them on Friday. You wrote about courage a few years ago so your post fits and has been posted today! Tammy
“’Cause you can’t change the way I am Are you strong enough to be my man?” ~ Cheryl Crow
For the last 2 years or so, I’ve been on 47 first dates.
Yep, you read that right. 47.
When I started on this journey, I created a list of all of my dates’ names and a takeaway from the experience–a golden nugget if you will. It helps me remember each one and treats the process as a learning and growing experience.
One of the most popular questions that’s asked in the getting-to-know-you phase of dating is, “If you could have a superpower, which one would you choose?”
When I’m asked that question, I feel a strong pull to immediately respond, “Flying, of course! How cool would that be?!”
But when I ponder the question further, I think my answer would have be time travel. I’m not sure if it’s actually considered a superpower, but it’d be cool nonetheless. It’d be cool to move forward in time and see what life will be like. But it’d also be nice to travel back in time and take a peek at how I used to be and to maybe have a chance to right a few wrongs.
Back in September, I wrote a post about times when I get tugged back into an old familiar pain. It could be triggered by a photo I see on social media or by meeting someone who reminds me of someone who’s caused me hurt. Something about the photo or the person tugs me back into an old familiar pain. I feel a sting and a wave of grief washes over me.
A painful event happened this weekend that in the past would have caused a wave of sorrow. But this time, what I felt was anger. What I saw caused me to raise both middle fingers in the air, which were accompanied by several slightly audible f-bombs.
I should note, I didn’t express this to the person directly. I ducked into the bathroom first.
I was in a difficult situation this week. I won’t go into details right now because the experience is still too raw and emotional. I will say it happened on a hike that required a rescue team. I guess my companion and I took my word for the year–explore–a bit too far.
In the children’s book “My Many Colored Days”, Dr. Seuss connects the way his energy and feelings change each day to different colors. He writes, “Some days are yellow. Some days are blue. On different days, I’m different too.”
This idea of connecting feelings to colors resonates with me. I believe colors have personalities. They each have their own unique energy. From the springing to life chartreuse green of sprouting leaves to the calm warmth of an apricot pink sunset, colors evoke a variety feelings in me. Each one carries its own qualities and characteristics.