“’Cause you can’t change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?”
~ Cheryl Crow
For the last 2 years or so, I’ve been on 47 first dates.
Yep, you read that right. 47.
When I started on this journey, I created a list of all of my dates’ names and a takeaway from the experience–a golden nugget if you will. It helps me remember each one and treats the process as a learning and growing experience.
Of those 47 men, only a handful have asked about my writing. And of those men, only a few have asked to read my blog. The first one who read it was date #22. After doing so, he asked if I’d ever considered writing a book. He was an author himself, so I was completely flattered. I told him if this dating thing goes on much longer, I may write a book about the experience and call it “50 First Dates”. He mentioned that a movie has already been made about this.
I replied, “Yes, but those dates were all between the same man and woman. In my case, it will be 50 first dates with the same woman but 50 different men.”
My story will be a bit different, I think.
Of the others who’ve read my blog, one never spoke to me again. The remaining two expressed trepidation about being in a relationship with me. They were worried they’d end up in my blog. One even expressed surprise about some of the things I’ve shared.
“Does it help you?” he asked.
”Why, yes it does,” I replied. “And I hope that in some way what I write helps others as well.”
I found their concern interesting because–aside from Mr. No Show–I don’t believe I’ve said anything about a date that would be hard for someone to read about themselves. And even in my post about Mr. No Show, I tried to use it as a way to process what I learned from the experience, not a way to lambast him. I try my best to keep things positive and I never use names.
When I mentioned the concern of these to men to a friend of mine, she tossed out the idea of creating a post called “What not to do if you don’t want to end up in my blog”. I laughed at this and decided to give it a go.
I jotted a few things down but in the end, I kept coming back to one thing. Writing about my life is what I do. So if you don’t want to end up in my blog, then you probably shouldn’t date me.
That being said, if I was in a serious relationship with someone, there’d have to be some boundaries put in place. There are certain things–really personal things–that I’d never put out there. And if I was going to post something about the relationship, I’d run it by the guy first to make sure he’d be okay with it.
So as I inch closer to date #50, it comes down to this question. Are you strong enough to be my man? Are you strong enough to handle what I write about and all the stuff I put out there about my life?
Because this is who I am. I’m all for growing and becoming the best version of myself. Writing has become a way for me to do this.
And I’m not going to stop.
acuriousfirefly, © 2021