In The Authority song, John Mellencamp sings,
“When I fight authority, authority always wins.”
Although that may be true for him, what I know for sure is that when I fight reality, reality always wins.
When I fight the way my body looks
When I fight the truth about a relationship
When I fight the way people really are
When I fight what my situation looks like…it’s a losing battle.
When I fight reality, I suffer. Because when I fight reality, reality always wins.
So in this new year, my goal is to stop fighting reality and instead to see and accept things as they are without judgement. I cannot force people or situations into being anything different than they are at this point in time. Maya Angelou’s wise statement, “When people show you who they are you have to believe them,” can be applied to any situation. I have to believe and accept the reality of both who people are and the way things currently are.
My belly will always show the signs of carrying two sons.
A friend or partner may not want to work on a relationship.
Someone’s behavior may not resonate with me.
Laundry day now requires a roll of quarters.
Accepting the way people and situations are doesn’t mean that I give up or let others walk all over me. Instead, it gives me the awareness to determine what I can change and the motivation to move forward with what I will do.
I will work out, eat right and embrace the beauty of my post birth belly.
I will choose to give certain relationships less time and energy.
I will set boundaries for what I will and won’t tolerate.
I will find the best job I can and make my apartment as nice as possible.
How fitting to start practicing this in the year 2020. Like 20/20 vision, I will practice seeing things clearly–then believe what I see and accept the reality of the way things are.
Because if reality always wins, I’d like to be on its side.
a curious firefly 